Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Life of a Dog


Ever wish you had the life of a dog? Man I tell ya, my dog is the best, and has the best life. I swear she sleeps at least 18 out of the 24 hours in a day. She also has the amazing ability to give unconditional love, I mean it really does not matter how long you have been gone she is always soooo pumped to see you. Another perk that dogs have is that they can wake up at the drop of a dime and be wide awake barking or just looking. Man I wish I could just wake up that easy. She really doesn't need to talk. when she is hungry she bangs her food bowl against the wall. when she is thirsty and out of water she bangs her water bowl against the cabinets. when she has to go out she stands at the door. when she wants off the couch or the bed she scratches at the edge. when she wants us to pick her up she scratches on our legs. when she wants her privacy she goes under the bed or in the closet. I mean it is like constant sign language. when i cry she licks my tears. although I must say that she is a little bit lazy, the dog hates walks. She would much rather sleep. I have to carry her for half of her walk and then when I reach the point of no return she will finally walk the rest. She is the absolute cutest thing I have ever seen in my life and watching her sleep is amazingly cute.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Jeremiah 29:11

Here is what I learned today...
Jeremiah 29:11
...For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and NOT TO HARM YOU, plans to give you hope and a future...
Another thing I learned...
"He is never more present than when he seems strangely absent." - Beth Moore

So it got me thinking, this God of mine is really trying to speak to me right now. I learned today two very profound truths that I cannot get out of my mind. This past week I have never felt so dissed by God in my life, until I realized that He really is here, and He knows that I hurt like HELL. This God of mine knows me from the inside out, He knows when I am mad, sad, lonely, frustrated...

Last week started like this...
At the beginning of the week I have never felt so overwhelmed by God's grace. I felt like my God told me what He wanted, I followed, and He blessed me in a way that I never imagined He would. I never felt closer to Him in all of my life. All I could do was think about Him and how great He was.
In the middle of the week I was completely confused by Him. I could not believe what happened and tried to find answers to my "tragedy". I had no idea that something could appear one way and then the truth reveals the complete opposite. I went from feeling overwhelming excited and blessed to feeling like I lost something that meant more to me then anything.
At the end of the week I became really pissed off at Him. I felt so dissed and so teased and so let down. I felt like my God built me up just to break me down. I felt like He wanted me to do this, I did it and then he backed out of the deal. WHAT THE HELL!
At the beginning of this week I started feeling like now he is just rubbing it in my face. Every where I go things remind me of it and people are talking about things that remind me of it. Could it get any more annoying.
Now... I feel like He is present even though He feels absent and He is not doing this to "harm" me or hurt my feelings. I know there is somehting so much deeper than I can see. I have decided I am so sick of being pissed off. I am now ready to just lay it down, give all of this pain to Him, let Him heal me, and remind myself everytime it hurts that He died on the cross for me and He hurts for me too.