Jeremiah 29:11

Here is what I learned today...
Jeremiah 29:11
...For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and NOT TO HARM YOU, plans to give you hope and a future...
Another thing I learned...
"He is never more present than when he seems strangely absent." - Beth Moore

So it got me thinking, this God of mine is really trying to speak to me right now. I learned today two very profound truths that I cannot get out of my mind. This past week I have never felt so dissed by God in my life, until I realized that He really is here, and He knows that I hurt like HELL. This God of mine knows me from the inside out, He knows when I am mad, sad, lonely, frustrated...

Last week started like this...
At the beginning of the week I have never felt so overwhelmed by God's grace. I felt like my God told me what He wanted, I followed, and He blessed me in a way that I never imagined He would. I never felt closer to Him in all of my life. All I could do was think about Him and how great He was.
In the middle of the week I was completely confused by Him. I could not believe what happened and tried to find answers to my "tragedy". I had no idea that something could appear one way and then the truth reveals the complete opposite. I went from feeling overwhelming excited and blessed to feeling like I lost something that meant more to me then anything.
At the end of the week I became really pissed off at Him. I felt so dissed and so teased and so let down. I felt like my God built me up just to break me down. I felt like He wanted me to do this, I did it and then he backed out of the deal. WHAT THE HELL!
At the beginning of this week I started feeling like now he is just rubbing it in my face. Every where I go things remind me of it and people are talking about things that remind me of it. Could it get any more annoying.
Now... I feel like He is present even though He feels absent and He is not doing this to "harm" me or hurt my feelings. I know there is somehting so much deeper than I can see. I have decided I am so sick of being pissed off. I am now ready to just lay it down, give all of this pain to Him, let Him heal me, and remind myself everytime it hurts that He died on the cross for me and He hurts for me too.